I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
