BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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