He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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