It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
