glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
