some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize