I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I believe in your delicious
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
