she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
