Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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