So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
