I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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