There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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