another moral hangover. fuck.
even my farts smell like vagina
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
