I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize