Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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