She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
