i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
