Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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