hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
