I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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