During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
