Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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