Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
