Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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