Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
