the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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