Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
