Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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