i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
