i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
