We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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