Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
