drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
