i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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