Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
