it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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