She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
