I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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