i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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