my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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