it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
