Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
