hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
