if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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