Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
