I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
