I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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