Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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