Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
