Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
