Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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