With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
