And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
