I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
