So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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