I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
