Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize