Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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