I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You did what with his pubic hair?
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