I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
