Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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