O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
