omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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